


After Effects

by AproposOfInsomnia



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of brainwashing, Angst, Can be read as platonic even with all the pet names, Conditioning, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pet Names, alternate universe side effects music video, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:00:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23046670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AproposOfInsomnia/pseuds/AproposOfInsomnia
Summary: Breaking free from years of brainwashing and harsh conditioning can be tough and painful.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Lee Felix & Seo Changbin, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) & Everyone
Comments: 5
Kudos: 165





	After Effects

It had been a while since they had escaped. Chan couldn’t say exactly how long, the days had blurred together under a seemingly endless list of things they needed to do. They had done well enough for themselves, finding odd jobs to get just enough money for a shoe box apartment and found themselves living practically on top of one another. The small quarters had proven to be a blessing in disguise as all of them worked to help each other vanquish the conditioning still lurking in their minds. There were a few pitfalls, Hyunjin had become quick to anger and Seungmin had found his comfort only behind the lens of the old disposable cameras he found. Still, Chan was proud to say they had adjusted about as well as could be expected. 

There was a tug at his sleeve, pulling him suddenly from his musings with a jolt of panic. It was Jeongin, looking back over his shoulder as he squatted by the arm rest of Chan’s chair, a worried furrow to his brow. 

“Hyung? He’s glitching again.” 

He whipped his head around, the panic roaring back through his veins, to find Felix standing awkwardly in the corner. He was twitching oddly, his usually smiling face flitting rapidly between desperation, pain, and complete blankness as his arms flailed at his sides, moving to cradle his head or to wrap around his torso before snapping back to being tense at his sides. A tremor had spread through him with such strength he appeared to be vibrating. 

“Shit.” 

Chan pulled himself from the beat up chair he had claimed and damn near launched himself toward him, catching himself quickly and forcing himself to move at the achingly slow pace that was custom under these circumstances. As he got closer, he could hear the low, monotonous hum coming from Felix’s throat, a last ditch attempt at a grounding technique that he only used when he was desperately trying to keep himself calm. In his periphery Chan could see that the others had moved themselves to the outskirts of the room, too worried to leave but aware of how volatile the situation was. 

They had all gone through something similar, but it was a one time thing for each. Felix seemed to be the exception, having one every few days before it finally began to lessen to once a week or so. The first time it happened they were expecting it and rode it out with watchful eyes and little else, as they had with everyone. It looked to be somewhat worse than the other’s, lasting longer and seeming to take much more out of him, but they didn’t think much of it. Then it happened again. Jisung, worried about his best friend and hoping to provide some comfort, had reached out, resting his hands on his shoulders in a way that, for them, always ended in dropping everything in favor of a long, happy hug. Before anyone could move he was on the floor, his arm twisted over his back, Felix on top of him, digging his knee into his spine with wild eyes and an angry twist to his mouth that turned his sweet face into something terrifying. They blinked and he was gone. They found him hours later, squeezed under the bathroom sink, crying and pleading for them to let him stay, his guilt palpable. It took a while, and a fair amount of pain but eventually they realized that Chan was the only one that could get through to him. The English, wrapped in a familiar accent so far from the hell they had broken from, seemed to reach a part of him that nothing else could. 

“It’s okay Lix, you’re okay,” his voice caught slightly as he was once again made aware of the injustice of it all. 

No one deserved this, least of all someone as wide eyed and endlessly kind as Felix. 

He continued with mindless words of comfort as he moved slowly across the room. All he got in response were strangled whimpers between his persistent humming, interspersed with angry growls, and teary eyes locking on to his own. He forced himself to smile in a way that he could only hope was comforting as he took another step. Felix had explained once that while he was completely conscious during these “glitches” it was as if his brain were being fried and he didn’t necessarily know where he was nor who he was with, his instincts flaring to the point of everything being a perceived threat. Still, he tried to give Chan a small, unsure smile in response. It broke his heart. 

Finally, he made it, standing so close there was barely any space between them. 

“Can I touch you, sweetheart?” 

The whine he got in response was high and needy as Felix squeezed his eyes closed and forced his head to nod. The twitching had all but stopped, only his face still falling back into the emptiness before snapping into a look of scrunched discomfort, his hands tangled in the hem of his over-sized sweater. His shaking, however, only seemed to worsen. Chan wrapped his fingers loosely around his wrist, stopping for a moment to let him get used to the feeling against his oversensitive skin. He choked on his hum, tears finally falling down his face. Chan began to trail his hand up his arm at the sound, keeping his movements as gradual as possible against the overwhelming urge to pull him into a hug and never let go. By the time he had reached his shoulder Felix was sobbing, his hum more choking than anything. His hand stayed there for a minute, thumb rubbing soft circles over his collarbone, before moving again to wrap his fingers around the back of his neck. Felix sighed in response, his body relaxing so suddenly he rocked unintentionally back against Chan’s hand. 

“You made it, baby. I’m so proud of you.” 

Chan pulled Felix’s head toward his shoulder, forcing his own body to relax as he guided his forehead against his neck. An indescribable mixture of happiness and melancholy shot through him as he fell completely against him, his arms coming to wrap around his body. He walked both of them backwards toward the hole ridden couch, sending a quick prayer to any god he no longer believed in the they didn’t land on anything important or miss the couch entirely. Felix followed with complete trust, landing on top of him in a way that would have been painful if he hadn’t been so tiny. ‘Underweight’ the worried, protective part of him screamed, ‘fix it fix it fix it”. He chose to ignore it for the time being. 

Soft footsteps filled the room as everyone shuffled away, content in the knowledge that their friend was unharmed and on the way to being fine. The lights flicked off with a quiet click from somewhere over their heads. Chan closed his eyes, relief flowing through him in exhausting waves, only to snap them open as he felt Felix jolt against him with a frightened whimper. An angry worry surged through him before dissipating suddenly as he made eye contact with Changbin. He was sat next to the couch, one hand splayed between Felix’s shoulder blades, the other curled around something small in a loose fist, the same worry ignited in his eyes. It took a few seconds before Felix could remove his head from the safety and warmth of his hyung’s neck, but eventually he turned to look at him. His eyes were half lidded and so tired that Changbin briefly considered dropping it and letting him get back to sleep. 

“Can you sit up? You need to take your medicine,” his voice was soft and so gentle it sent tingles down his spine. 

All he got in response was a barely there shrug. Felix was prone to extreme headaches, especially during and after his glitches. They had forced him to go to some dingy, questionable clinic they still could barely afford after they watched him pass out from the pain he had been trying to hide. He was prescribed some strong pain medication that he hated, but ultimately helped when he was in such pain that he felt only a hairs breadth away from vomiting. 

“We’ll help you Pixie, you just let us know if we go too fast.” 

Together they helped lever him into a half sitting position with Chan against the arm and Felix sat in his lap, still leaning heavily against him. Changbin fed him the pills before lifting a cup of water to his lips and helping him to drink. A weird feeling of contentedness lightened his chest as he watched Chan’s hand rub lightly up and down Felix’s back as he drank. Barely a few seconds and he tried to lift a hand, so terrible weak and shaky attempted to push the cup away. 

Changbin let it go without complaint, setting the cup aside and opting instead to run his fingers through Felix’s hair, seeking his own selfish comfort. He had always hated seeing his family in pain. A small chuckle found it’s way through his throat before he could stop it as Felix leaned happily into his hand, looking entirely like a kitten with his eyes closed and his mouth only just beginning to curl into a grin. He cooed at the sight before forcing himself to rise, knowing how desperately both Chan and Felix needed their sleep. He left the cup next to them in hopes that at least one of them would have enough common sense to drink it. As he left he stopped at the doorway, the need to make sure everyone was fine making it’s nightly re-occurrence. A smile washed over his face as he turned just in time to see Felix force his head under Chan’s chin as he attempted to settle them both back into laying down. They’d be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know if I messed anything up, I'm doing all this by myself in the wee hours of the mornings


End file.
